Twenty Eight

I celebrate the dawn of a whole new year by… getting ill.  I had presumed I was just knackered from a Damned Fine New Year Celebration, but by Thursday it is clear to anyone in the office that I’m a very odd grey colour and Not Entirely Myself.  I am despatched home, where I spend a sweaty afternoon in bed and feel a bit better for it.  I know, yeugh.  Anyway, by Saturday we decide we can tackle the ‘first fix electrics’ as that’s just a gentle job of pushing a few bits of cable through a few bits of wood where they’re meant to be.  And we have an ‘electric plan’.  This doesn’t mean that it lights up, or whirrs or anything, just that we have a plan of the electrics.   We have decided that in my enfeebled state it would be best if I direct and Guy does the work, so I point and Guy drills.  Or, rather, I point and the drill makes all the right noises but absolutely no impression on the wood.  We drill a pilot hole instead…. Then use a different drill bit, and another, and another… eventually we hit on the right combination of pilot hole and large flat head drill thingy, and away we go.  Or, rather, away Guy goes with the drilling - I point and he drills.  Damned Fine System.  We realise that we need to mount the tin box things on battens, so we cut and drill wood to size and glue it in place.  Blunkett is Being Very Helpful.  It’s raining and I’ve taken pity on her, so she’s allowed into the shed for the first time.

It’s all very simple, and we only have to use a small drill bit, a large drill bit, 3 flat head drill bits, an augur bit, a jig saw, 14 kinds of screws, a squishy pen, a right angle thingy, glue, a rechargeable drill, two hammers, the nail punch, pliers, a paint brush, sandpaper, the workmate and two extension cables.

On Sunday all we have to do is pull the right cable through the right holes for the right bits and pin it to the walls.  We quickly discover a new found respect for electricians - we thought it would be gentle stuff… but, nooooo, this is really physical HARD WORK pulling lots of bits of cable through the drilled holes, and pretty tough on the brain once it all starts to look like spaghetti.

Blunkett is Helpful, being inside the shed once again.  When we get to the ‘pinning it to the walls’ stage she tries to sit on our knees as we’re working, and is banished outside once more, although she doesn’t quite get it and keeps sneaking back in.  Quite how she thinks we won’t notice a black Labrador trying to sit on our knees is unclear…

The pinning is worse than the pulling.  It’s cold (about freezing) and our fingers are so cold we keep dropping the cable pin things.  Guy swears more than I do, but I swear louder.  Eventually we finish, but as we’ve never done this before we’re not entirely sure we’ve done it right.  We’ll ask Wyn to check it over before we hide it all behind plasterboard!

Achieved:  First fix electrics is DONE!  Whether any of it is in the right place remains to be seen.
Hours worked:  Not that many, really, given my feeble state.  Guy did more than me.
Purchases:    A drill bit.  And I was excited about it…
Tip of the week:  Don’t hit your finger with a hammer.  The nail turns blue.  And it’s not good for a typist…
Other tip of the week:  Get someone else to do first fix electrics…
Good news of the week:  Our lovely pal Erica is getting married!  She does dormice and bats, so Erica is Our Kind of Friend.  We have been invited to the wedding, and have promised to make sure we turn up looking nice.  We can do looking nice.  Given enough notice…  
Wildlife update: (a) can squirrels become obese? (b) can squirrels explode? (c) do moles have pickaxes?  Our (obviously not dead) resident mole made a new hill in the frosted ground this morning...
Plan for the week:    Start putting polystyrene insulation in where the electrics aren’t, ask Wyn back to inspect the wiring then insulate those bits too.  Good plan.